We were waiting till next week. There are multiple announcement pictures, a big brother shirt, but we won't need them as last night we found out that we lost the baby. I was 12 weeks this week.
.
I bought this swaddle even before we found out, my heart was lead to it. Then we were expecting and felt called early on to celebrate this pregnancy and just stay in the day by day by taking a photo with it. Thanks Kenzie.
.
I have so many mixed emotions that I will hope to share in time. Just trying with all my might to hold onto Jesus and not let the lies the enemy is spewing at me about who's fault, (no-ones I know) what I could have done (again I know), and just the heaviness of future anxiety in growing our family in time.
.
Truth. I'm sad and disappointed that my fear and worry was "right" but I can claim this.
.
That God is bigger than my understanding. Jesus has already won over anxiety. He has won over each arrow that Satan is pressing. Even though I feel like we are in the losing team, that's not truth. The truth is. “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Corinthians 15:57 NIV
.
So Father, I'm laying down my grip on wanting to understand, to figure out what lesson you have here and just be. Be in the tension of your Grace. For even if it feels not the best. The truth is you cover me under your wings. . .🎶Your praise will ever be on my lips. (Along with all the real on my heart too) and Lord, I rely on you. You're where my help comes from. You never stumble. You never sleep. You stand by my side and lead me to life, for your glory. 🎶
No comments
Post a Comment